How the lobster grows

With all the things I could share with you, I’ve decided to share with you, my take away from the video: how the lobster grows.

But before we got ahead, I would like you to think about a traumatic event in your life.

Go on, don’t be shy. Think about something painful that has happened to you. Something that made you cry. Something that at that point in time, you thought ‘oh crap I am not too sure if I can make it’.

I know, I know. A bit of a strange way to start a blog post, isn’t it? Even more so, a bit of a strange topic. But let’s face it, you might know by now that I am a strange person. And if you don’t know me, nice to meet you, I am a weirdo.

But the real question here is: aren’t you so excited to find out how the lobster grows, with great detail?

“Nah, not really”. Let’s face it, who cares about how the lobster grows. To be fair, I didn’t care myself.

But then, last year, when I was finally dealing with the fact my uncle sexually abused me when I was a young child to teenage years, that is when I saw this video. And has changed my life.

But, before I go on about what the video is about, I will actually explain how the lobster grows, because it is important for the context here. And then I will tell you what I’ve learnt from this message and what you can learn from this too.

Lobsters are soft animals with a very rigid shell. And in order for the lobster to grow, at various stages of its life, it must molt. In other words, it has to get rid of its old shell and form a new one.

The key part is: when the lobster grows, the soft part of the animal of course, touches this rigid shell and guess what? It is painful. Because it is so painful for them, the have to change the shell to a bigger one.

This process, of changing its shell, takes about 20-30 minutes. And, during this process, and here is another very important lesson, the lobster is vulnerable. Its vulnerable to be another animal food.

The video reckons, that, if the lobster were a human being, when he felt the pain, he would go to the doctors and the doctor, would give him an anti depressant. The anti depressant would make him numb, and therefore, he would never go under the rocks and make a bigger shell.

The message of the video, and of this post is very simple: you must feel the pain to be able to grow. If you never felt the pain, you would never do something about to change your life.

Therefore, if you never felt the pain of a traumatic event, you would never be able to grow.

I want you to think about that traumatic time of life again. And be honest with yourself:

Could you say that that event made who you are now? Could you say, that and many other traumatic events built you? Made you stronger?

I can say that. And trust me, my life has not been unicorns and butterflies.

Of course, at the time, I didn’t think, “wow, what a fantastic time of growth”. God no. If you saw me last year, or even the start of this year, I looked like mess and I cried a lot.

But the truth is: I’ve grown so much since then. And it is most likely that you did too.

What can you take away from this post? That maybe you could allow yourself to be seen. Really seen. Take the mask off.

That maybe, you could be willing to invest in a relationship that may, or may not, work out. Be willing to say “I love you” first. Be willing to do that thing, that you always wanted to do but you always been afraid of. Because, if all goes wrong and you are feeling the pain. You know for sure, you are growing.

And you are building a better and stronger version of yourself.

Like a lobster.

As C.S Lewis said: “Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, you learn”.

That is me.

Watch the video ‘how do Lobsters grow?‘:

how the lobster grow video


If you want to know more about my project, We are someone, of opening a conversation about sexual abuse, check out


Maria Selva